It's been way too long...

...and a crazy couple of weeks full of many ups and downs. Maybe mostly downs, depending how you look at it. Or maybe I was just way too emotional this month. But I'm going to consider December a fresh start. 

Travis and I finally sat down and crunched out the numbers, and I have my new financial plans set up...I'm hoping to put a minimum of $400 towards the wedding every month. I know that's not a lot, but it's the best I can do right now. I'm obsessed with the money book that inspired all of this: "Smart Cookies Guide to Making More Dough." A fantastic book that made me look at money planning so differently! It actually got me excited about it all, and my next step after sorting out wedding saving is to open up an RRSP (which I should've done a long time ago) and a GIC. And honeymoon saving!

Ultimate locale: The Maldives. Mmmmm...I can dream.

And I'm going to try to stop worrying about work so much and pleasing everyone there. Bottom line? I can't please everyone always. And that's finally ok with me. (For the most part.) And I'm not going to self-edit my ideas or my opinions anymore. Yes. Done.

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Our Bon Bon Fundraiser went great last week. We pretty much filled the place, although we had few problems with the lady running the show. She charged us extra because we didn't have an exact number of guests to give her at the beginning, and they made extra food. My question is, how can we know how many people will show?! We can give an approximate number, which we did, but apparently that wasn't good enough. Either way, it's done, and we're $1300 richer! Comp fees, shoes, costumes...it might not last long! As long as we get to the dancing and get a business plan going to get some gigs. And a coworker here has a sister who sings fabulously – her specialty is Christina songs – nice!!! Perfect fit I think!

I promise, more updates. I might have some after this busy weekend. Have fun!

It's more than frustrations...

I like to feel in control. Who doesn't?  When it comes to my life, I want to be able to control everything...and when there's a little (or big) blip, I can get really upset. 

Of course, I know you can't live this way. I  understand that some things are completely out of my power and I must accept that, and stop worrying about those things I can't control. It's tough though. Lately I've been feeling like certain things, things I once had such a good hold on, are slipping out of my grasp. I'm very close now to losing them...

The first is our dance group – Bon Bon Dance Co. How excited I was to launch, all the work I've put behind it, and no one seems to want to be a part of it. We hardly practice. We haven't determined our goals and moved towards them. We're certainly not becoming better dancers and we simply don't meet enough. Why bother then? Why do I still want to this? I suppose it's my only outlet to be able to dance. I'm not going to give up. Our fundraiser is around the corner and I'm going to let all these letdowns make me work even harder for this.

I'm trying to come at this from a different angle. I could place blame (and I have), or I could examine myself and see what I'm able to do about it. I can't change other people...I know. I try to, but I know I can't. So what decisions can I make that will change the course of a path...that will make a difference? Perhaps it's time to be more aggressive. Stand up for what I believe in for once.

Dance isn't the only thing I feel like is slipping out of my grasp. This one is much more complex and personal than that.

I just don't know at this point. I have no answers. I'm hurt. And she is completely oblivious. What do you when someone is changing and slipping away from you and there's nothing you can do or say to change that?

Easy & Creative

This collage apparently describes me. It's DIY, so give it a try! Hehe. I borrowed this idea from the blog Peonies & Polaroids. Basically, you go to flickr.com and type in the answers to the questions below. Pick your favourite picture from the FIRST results page, and piece each picture together in order to create your one-of-a-kind art. Here are the questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you?
12. Your Flickr name?

Can you figure out my answers from the pictures?

1. well, a given. Ariana.

2. chocolate IS a food.

3. Grand Trunk High School...mostly trains came up; this was the only picture that was totally different from everything else. Rargh!!!

4. Teal, turquoise, aqua, navy, ocean...I ended up typing in blue to keep it simple.

5. This is embarassing...but I've always had a little something for Leonardo Dicaprio. He was my first celeb crush, and now, 12 years later, I'm starting to migrate back to him...

6. Water.

7. Seychelles. sigh...honeymoon?

8. Fudge brownies...warm from the oven. It doesn't get better than that in my opinion.

9. I am grown up I think, and have achieved my "grown-up goal." But, I still have a fantasy goal, and that's to be a choreographer on a world stage.

10. Is it bad to say myself?

11. That's easy. Passionate.

12. Don't have one. And that party girl is what I got!

Give it a try. I had fun.