Off to Lake Isle today! 

Merry Christmas...eat lots and laugh lots!

*image from The City Sage

My Favourite Swede

I looooove her; will never get sick of her...

If you haven't listened to Robyn, get to it. (And no, not her "Show Me Love" days. She's a lot different now!) Check out her latest performance... it's the acoustic of "Be Mine" – my fave.

Addicted to Stress

I drive myself crazy sometimes. 

I always feel like I need to be accomplishing something, and often those things I'm accomplishing don't really matter at all... in the grand scheme of things. Like sweeping the floor for the billionth time. Or wiping down the baseboards in the kitchen again. But dust bunnies drive me nuts! Sigh. I swear I'm a teensy bit OCD. 

Trav told me I'm waaay too high stress lately. I'm a little snappy... not yet in the Christmas spirit as I usually am by this time. I'm complaining about the smallest messes – and for what? What does that help? Of course a tidy house can mean peace of mind, but perhaps I've taken it too far lately. I haven't allowed myself to let go... and have fun. 

It's not just the cleanliness thing either – it's making my to-do lists constantly. And crossing off as much as possible. I just love knowing that every day I've moved ahead...satisfaction knowing that I'm farther than I was yesterday and can prove it to you. Every night before I go to sleep I tick off the things I accomplished, and they're all silly things that I will forget about in a day or two. Maybe I need to make changes to my list...call my friends a bit more, find time to make supper with Trav and sit down together, watch a movie, get together with Natalie...

But then again, boys will be boys and the dirty toilets, dishes in the sink and unfinished renos would drive anyone nuts! It's such a back and forth struggle. I take pride in a clean house and organized life, but it's hard when you're the only female in the house with three guys and two pets! And it's that conflict that causes the aggravation. I'm just like my Mom...I can't relax unless everything is in its place – and really, just when is everything it's place?

Maybe learning to let go and allow the dust bunnies to fly (while keeping my mouth shut) is what it's all about.

I'll let you know my plan of action soon.

*Update – I relapsed. I got home at 1:30 am Saturday night and had the energy to go on a cleaning rampage until 3 am. It felt so good!

Escapade...

Oh Mon Hanky.

If you don't know, that's my darling (I'm sure everyone else thinks it's annoying) nickname for our German Shepherd, Hank. He's quite the guy...a very expressive face, with chocolate brown eyes and a goofy, smiling mouth. And he's all black, so now that we finally have some snow I can see him...as opposed to before, when he'd blend into the night on our 10 pm runs. Hank is close to nine months now, and I never knew I'd enjoy having a dog so much! Sure, he's a lot of work. And he's cost us a lot...in addition to his toys, food, surgery and silly vet visits, he got hold of Trav's brother's very expensive pair of ski goggles...I think we still owe him $150. Eek. At least he gets along with my cat Saku. They have some epic battles that are just so damn cute!

Anyway, Hank has escaped out of our yard before. Our renter downstairs sometimes forgets to latch our gate. One morning at around 8:30 last month we got a call from a youngish girl who had Hank in her car on Whyte Avenue! Apparently he traveled ten blocks or so, crossing Connors Road during rush hour, and ended up in Strathearn Drive! I almost had a heart attack.

So needless to say, since then we've all been very careful of shutting the gate properly. Or at least I have! This morning I stepped out the door to let Hank warm up in the house after his usual breakfast. I called him and no answer. I assumed he fell asleep in the garage because he tends to do that...especially after he eats. But he wasn't coming...even though I could hear the jingle jangle of his collar. Was he under a snowpile or what? Finally, I ran around the corner, and the gate pushed open, and he popped his head in! Hank escaped again...this time though he managed to push the gate open even after Trav fixed it to always rest closed. 

So we need to remind everyone to watch that gate and latch it up. Especially since our dog is more curious than our cat.

*****************

Money is still a bit of a worry for me. My saving plan isn't working out too well as there's been a few unexpected costs...a car battery, a new TV (Travis decided that would be a good Christmas gift idea for ourselves...yeesh), new car insurance, Christmas gifts and going-away presents for coworkers. But hey, I'm still making improvements. I've upped my student loan payments, and have been very careful to not put anything on my credit card. Once we're past Christmas, things should be easier!

It's been way too long...

...and a crazy couple of weeks full of many ups and downs. Maybe mostly downs, depending how you look at it. Or maybe I was just way too emotional this month. But I'm going to consider December a fresh start. 

Travis and I finally sat down and crunched out the numbers, and I have my new financial plans set up...I'm hoping to put a minimum of $400 towards the wedding every month. I know that's not a lot, but it's the best I can do right now. I'm obsessed with the money book that inspired all of this: "Smart Cookies Guide to Making More Dough." A fantastic book that made me look at money planning so differently! It actually got me excited about it all, and my next step after sorting out wedding saving is to open up an RRSP (which I should've done a long time ago) and a GIC. And honeymoon saving!

Ultimate locale: The Maldives. Mmmmm...I can dream.

And I'm going to try to stop worrying about work so much and pleasing everyone there. Bottom line? I can't please everyone always. And that's finally ok with me. (For the most part.) And I'm not going to self-edit my ideas or my opinions anymore. Yes. Done.

****************************

Our Bon Bon Fundraiser went great last week. We pretty much filled the place, although we had few problems with the lady running the show. She charged us extra because we didn't have an exact number of guests to give her at the beginning, and they made extra food. My question is, how can we know how many people will show?! We can give an approximate number, which we did, but apparently that wasn't good enough. Either way, it's done, and we're $1300 richer! Comp fees, shoes, costumes...it might not last long! As long as we get to the dancing and get a business plan going to get some gigs. And a coworker here has a sister who sings fabulously – her specialty is Christina songs – nice!!! Perfect fit I think!

I promise, more updates. I might have some after this busy weekend. Have fun!

It's more than frustrations...

I like to feel in control. Who doesn't?  When it comes to my life, I want to be able to control everything...and when there's a little (or big) blip, I can get really upset. 

Of course, I know you can't live this way. I  understand that some things are completely out of my power and I must accept that, and stop worrying about those things I can't control. It's tough though. Lately I've been feeling like certain things, things I once had such a good hold on, are slipping out of my grasp. I'm very close now to losing them...

The first is our dance group – Bon Bon Dance Co. How excited I was to launch, all the work I've put behind it, and no one seems to want to be a part of it. We hardly practice. We haven't determined our goals and moved towards them. We're certainly not becoming better dancers and we simply don't meet enough. Why bother then? Why do I still want to this? I suppose it's my only outlet to be able to dance. I'm not going to give up. Our fundraiser is around the corner and I'm going to let all these letdowns make me work even harder for this.

I'm trying to come at this from a different angle. I could place blame (and I have), or I could examine myself and see what I'm able to do about it. I can't change other people...I know. I try to, but I know I can't. So what decisions can I make that will change the course of a path...that will make a difference? Perhaps it's time to be more aggressive. Stand up for what I believe in for once.

Dance isn't the only thing I feel like is slipping out of my grasp. This one is much more complex and personal than that.

I just don't know at this point. I have no answers. I'm hurt. And she is completely oblivious. What do you when someone is changing and slipping away from you and there's nothing you can do or say to change that?

Easy & Creative

This collage apparently describes me. It's DIY, so give it a try! Hehe. I borrowed this idea from the blog Peonies & Polaroids. Basically, you go to flickr.com and type in the answers to the questions below. Pick your favourite picture from the FIRST results page, and piece each picture together in order to create your one-of-a-kind art. Here are the questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you?
12. Your Flickr name?

Can you figure out my answers from the pictures?

1. well, a given. Ariana.

2. chocolate IS a food.

3. Grand Trunk High School...mostly trains came up; this was the only picture that was totally different from everything else. Rargh!!!

4. Teal, turquoise, aqua, navy, ocean...I ended up typing in blue to keep it simple.

5. This is embarassing...but I've always had a little something for Leonardo Dicaprio. He was my first celeb crush, and now, 12 years later, I'm starting to migrate back to him...

6. Water.

7. Seychelles. sigh...honeymoon?

8. Fudge brownies...warm from the oven. It doesn't get better than that in my opinion.

9. I am grown up I think, and have achieved my "grown-up goal." But, I still have a fantasy goal, and that's to be a choreographer on a world stage.

10. Is it bad to say myself?

11. That's easy. Passionate.

12. Don't have one. And that party girl is what I got!

Give it a try. I had fun.

Craving...

J. Brand jeans. I tried them on in Kelowna but I'm yet to own a pair. They fit like a dream. So slimming and simple. The only sucky part (and it's really not that sucky) is they fit two sizes bigger. I'm a size what now?!

Boots. I have two pairs, my blue over-the-knees from Le Chat, and my brown Kenneth Cole lace-ups. But I want more! Mostly flat ones. I have heels; I need flatties for work to be comfortable...right?

Ritter chocolate. (Marzipan was on sale today!) Even though my tummy aches I bought it.

Kelsey's spinach dip. Delish. If you haven't tried it, go. Now. I think Travis is taking me tonight...one of our favourite dates! No shame, no shame.

The Great Things

I want to do something great. Big. I guess that means I want to do something that gets noticed – in a good way of course.

And while I'm happy with what I've accomplished so far, I look to others a lot and wish I could do what they're doing, in certain instances. I know the perceived picture is rarely the real picture, but it still gets me thinking. For instance, I stumbled upon Paul Becker's website this morning, and found out he's only 24 years old! Wow! And he's getting paid to choreograph some pretty amazing shows. I felt a pang because at one point, that's why I danced. Because I loved making up the dances...pure and simple...and I decided that I will dance and choreograph as long as possible.  And of course, that's why I still have an attachment to my dance group now, but maybe it's not exactly what I want it to be. I think it has the potential to be something fantastic, but that brings me to a whole another issue (lack of commitments by some...I'm not forcing anyone to do anything people, jeez! Be there only if you want to be there.) Anyway, I'm jealous of Paul. I want to choreograph on a world stage. I know I could. I'll start by continuing my choreo now I suppose. The more I can get it out there, the better chance I have. I had a lot of fun starting our new jazz number on Sunday, and J's lyrical solo looked awesome. And bottom line, I do love it. That's why we do what we do, right?

Though it's not just to do with dance either. My friend K moved to Toronto, and that made me question my decision to stay in Edmonton for a looooong time, considering Trav's job. I know there's so many amazing things to see out there, so is it worth it to stay in one spot?

I guess right now it comes down to dance and travel – the two things I want to explore more. There's also things I haven't dabbled in much, if at all, that I could see myself doing. I love wedding planning! Lame, I know. Everything about it – I seriously can't get enough of all these amazing wedding blogs though. I almost want to create one myself, but then I KNOW I would spend way to much time on it. I barely write enough here as is! Along with that, I love photography. I remember taking my Grandma's camera when I was little and wandering around the yard taking pictures of Mom's flowers...bleeding hearts I remember best. I would love to experiment, take some classes. I also have a passion for home decorating – it just turns out to be a little costly. Those DIY makeover mags from Home & Garden are so fun though. Oh! And fashion! I LOVE designing looks...often, that's how I fall asleep – by letting clothes pop into my head. And wedding dresses! How fun would it be to design wedding dresses! Ok, ok, enough rambling. Those are my aspirations for now.

As for writing, I'm pretty happy with where I'm at. Work is going well, and it looks like I might be writing another feature for 24 Hours, which would be fab. More to put in the portfolio.

*****************************

On the everyday front, here's the update:

SICK

For the most part, since I had my wisdom teeth out last Wednesday, I've been soooooo sick. Obviously sore from the surgery, then throwing up constantly from the anaesthetic, and being a gross bum all around. But then, just as I was feeling better, I got hit by either food poisoning or the flu. Either way, it wasn't pretty. My stomach is still achy and my teeth still hurt, but I'm on my way back I think! I think I've lost a few pounds...I know it's wrong because it's from sickness...but I wonder if I can maintain this weight?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

My 24 Hours article ran! They chopped it up a bit, but didn't alter too much. Yay! I've got the cheque in my hot little hands...which I certainly need at this point. For some reason, my finances took a bit of a dive this month. Freelance writing = bliss? Maybe one day!

Word of the day: Creative!

I know I should be posting far more often, and also probably sharing some more interesting tidbits...but again, unfortunately, I'm giving you more or less a bit of an air-update. 

I’m somewhat happy to say work has been keeping me busy and not allowing me to spend too much time at my usual internet haunts. ; )

My deadline for my 24 Hours article is tomorrow afternoon. I think I’m ready to go! Last night I managed to drag Travis to a Dance Moves class on the West side so I could snap some pictures for the story, only because I promised that we would see a movie immediately after. And we did! Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist. Right now I have mixed feelings about it…but that’s a whole other topic. If you see it, let me know what you think!

Mostly I’ve been trying to be uber creative...haha, easy right? I have a few projects happening at work that ALL revolve around brainstorming…which is actually quite a rarity. It’s what all creatives types hope for, but it can be quite daunting. Give me the RFP to edit! Sure, it’s boring, but it’s safe – I guess that’s what makes creativity exactly what it is: you just can’t be safe; you have to take risks. And that can be a little scary. But often fun.

All I can say is this: I’m getting sooooo frustrated with clever Christmas cards (or lack thereof!) I’ll let you know how it plays out. I do have what looks like a great book on how to get the creative juices flowing (A Whack on the Side of the Head by Roger Von Oech); I just need to read it!

And speaking of creativity…how thankful am I for creative friends! Meaghan did our engagement photoshoot on Saturday morning, and she was amazing!!! I’m so impressed. Not only that, I think we had the most beautiful, colourful, sunny and crisp fall day of the year! Trav’s Mom commented on the cool angles of the shots; everyone's feed back has been great. It's funny, because every person that's seen them has picked a different favourite. Natalie even said she got teary-eyed. Oh Nat. Check out Meaghan’s photography blog here. She’s definitely got something special on her hands! 

I had to steal one...

On Edge

Go go go!

I almost feel like I don't have time to breathe right now! Just a lot of obligations. It's weird – I feel busier now than I did when I was working two extra part-time jobs! I suppose I'm doing more choreography now...and spending my extra time planning the wedding. Or it could just be that these couple of months are a little wacky.

I ordered my wedding dress this last weekend! I can't reveal what it looks like...it's a surprise! I'm still not sure if it's the one; when I was in Denilore I tried a new one they had in and loved it too. Although, I think my mind was playing tricks on me, and I've made the right decision. It's not supposed to come in until March. Hopefully I'll be even more excited by then!

I've had plans every night this week and still haven't had a chance to work on our renovations, which I feel a little guilty about since Travis worked so hard on it last week. It's my turn to step up and do some dapping and painting, but I just can't seem to find a moment to get it going! I'm hoping Monday night is doable – tonight I've got bootcamp and then a birthday party at Hudson's, tomorrow night is our epic dance girls' Sex and the City Party, Saturday morning is engagement photos, afternoon yoga (I need to make up for my hellish performance last weekend...thanks McDonalds!) and a stagette, and Sunday is A LOT of dance. Hopefully Monday night can be all reno stuff. Wow – I just read all of that, and most of those are social activities which means I could probably opt out of at least one...oh well, making up for lost time, right? I've spent a fair share of my time holed up in my room with fashion magazines. Although, I do kinda miss it. I've got a stack of five I haven't even looked at!

FYI: Fries + Hot Yoga = Do Not EVER Mix

I shouldn't, but I will...Venting and Terrible Tuesdays.

I hate to say this, but I was angry the other day...for a number of reasons. And the reason I hate to say that is that I understand just how much I have to be thankful for; so many great things have gone my way and I couldn't ask for more. But every once in a while, we all have those days where every little thing just seems to irk you. It makes you grumpy. Tired. And wearily asking "what now?"

Tuesday was a perfect example of that:

It all began when a certain coworker said something out of line...well, there's been many things the past week that could be considered out of line. It made me feel guilty when I shouldn't. It started off with "no offence, but..." Seriously, don't bother saying anything if it needs to begin with NO OFFENSE, BUT!

Trying to write my freelance article and getting uber frustrated. It just wasn't clicking.

Walking Hank and a crazy lady yelling at me that her dog "is just a puppy!!!" She literally jumped on the street with her dog clutched in arms...easy lady...my puppy usually doesn't eat other puppies.

Linda called me...and didn't mention the fall choreography I was supposed to do. I thought we had a deal worked out?

My stupid apple pie didn't turn out. It tastes funny. Trav hates it.

I couldn't sleep. Trav came home at midnight, making racket until 12:30. I ended up on the couch because I was freezing and the paint fumes from our renovations gave me a headache.

I know, it's trivial. I need to learn to let small things bounce off of me. Thanks for listening. I'm glad I got those things off my chest so I can have a much more pleasant week! All I need is a bit more shut-eye I think.

Failed. But I will try again, I promise. Homemaking is in my future.

My Obsessions.

It was a crazy week....and the weekend looks like more of the same. That's the way September always goes it seems. Even though I'm not back at school this year, everything picks up and gets much more frantic.

For instance, I think this is the busiest I've ever been at work. Yesterday was a stressful day; I had to get a letter out of the office in less than two hours to go to the president of a national company...eek. It went well though. I suppose that sometimes applying a little pressure can get me to work more efficiently!

I also may have found THE dress! Pure Bridal has some scrumptious dresses. Very much my style – ivory, golds, delicate lace, ruffles and beading. Sigh. Gorgeous. Anyway, I called Denilore to see if I can get the dress through them, and I can! For $200 cheaper! I have an appointment at Pure next week for Mom to see the dress, and then I'll skip over to Denilore and get it ordered if all is well!

Tonight work girls are hitting up Dadeo...I'm looking forward to my first Po Boy experience. Tomorrow I'm part of a painting party (at my house AND at Tara's...yeesh!), and I'm also scoping out Whitby to check out Flower Farm's decorating magic.

I'm in such a mood to shop for new clothes! I went looking at lunch, and believe it or not, I didn't buy a thing (not even chocolate)! It seems whenever I'm looking to shop, I don't find anything, and when I desperately need to save money, I find a million adorable things that I must have! It's all good though; I'm sure I'll be spending some $$ tonight.

Speaking of things I want (and need), I thought it might be fun to jot down the objects, products, food, whatever...that I loooove. And probably couldn't live without.

• Special K Chocolatey Delight (every morning!)
  
• Mini Rolos
  
• Jacob lace thongs
  
• Chi straightener
  
• Mac foundation brush
  
• Annabelle tawny eyebrow pencil (I hardly have eyebrows)
  
• Benzoyl Peroxide
  
• My soft blue blankie
  
• Andrea Eye Q's
• Life & Style magazine
  

More to come I'm sure.

Have a good weekend!

Quick and dirty.

• made it through the weekend relatively unscathed
  
• head is groggy today, throat hurts (maybe the weekend wasn't so harmless?)
  
• potluck fudge cupcakes were a hit...yay for Duncan Hines!
  
• Hank loves the off-leash dog park! Baths? Not so much...although Milk Bones do help!
  
• it was great to catch up with Lauren and hear about her new job (hope it works out for her)
  
• got to see three babies this weekend...Jackson Wolfgang, Kitkat and C-boo...for the very first time, I can see having one myself (with Trav's assistance of course) : )
  
• no dress yet...am I too picky? Last chance is tomorrow night at Bridal Debut
  

PS – yoga tonight just might be the end of me...

More updates to come, once my head feels a little sharper!

Gaining and Losing Wisdom.

Didn't it used to be that guys were the complexities we all struggled to understand, but at least we dealt with our girlfriends by our sides? While guys made us happy, made us cry, or made us feel sick to our stomachs, our girlfriends were always the constant in the equation.

Well, times have sure done a 180 on me. Trav and I have been getting along so well for such a long time! Things truly have been great since we moved into our house...and as lame as it sounds he's the person I tell (almost) everything to. But there's always some give and take, and ever since I've felt our relationship is close to perfect, a few close girlfriends in my life have slipped away...or maybe ran away. I just don't know.

Most of my friends know the situation with "L" – it's a long, complex and pretty serious situation. I've become used to our non-friend status, but everything hit me hard this weekend...when my friend "K" ditched me over text message. We hadn't seen one another since my bday in February, and even though I tried to meet up with her, she had an excuse everytime. Of course, like anyone else, I got sick of being blown off and felt a little pathetic, so I stopped trying. Just about a month ago, I found out through the grapevine (aka facebook) that she's moving to Toronto for a boy. She finally texted me, we played tag for awhile, then agreed to meet up Sunday for some playtime...finally! I was excited to see her after so long; I figured we'd have a ton of catching up to do. I left dance early to clean up the house and get ready, as I waited to hear what our plan for the night was. Then, at almost eight, I got a text: "I'm tired. Gonna stay home and pack." Okay....... 

And I haven't heard from her since! I know she's in Toronto now. Wow – totally blown off in the worst way. I just don't understand what has made her act so distant and strange with me. It seems to have happened ever since her and "L" became closer friends, shortly after my birthday. Coincidence? Hmmmm.... Anyway. Moving on. It's why I need to stop wasting time over people like this. As LC said on the latest episode of The Hills (haha...it was my relax time before bed last night): "Don't cry over someone who wouldn't cry over you."

Whitney...your shoes, your pants...why?

Although my recently gained wisdom is partially borrowed from the Hills (oh the shame!), I'm sticking to it. Of course I've heard it before...it was just a timely reminder for me.

So apart from wisdom gained, there's the wisdom I'm losing...my teeth! I waited two hours to get a confirmation and appointment for my wisdom teeth removal surgery. I'm actually kind of excited...more room in my mouth for my poor overly crowded teeth, and three days off of work! I imagine I'll be regretting saying this though when I'm swollen like a chipmunk.

***

I have an incredibly busy week/weekend ahead. Work has been insane this morning...a lot of projects are landing on my desk, but overall I try to appreciate it. I remember the days when no one would give me a "real" project. Now I see my writing actually getting out there, and my opinion being respected, and it makes me pretty happy. 

This week I also booked and put down a deposit for our photographer...she seems really nice! We went with the bigger, more expensive package, but I think it'll be worth it. Oh yeah, and Meaghan is going to do our engagement photos next month on Strathearn Drive. I'm excited – I think she's going to do great, and I'm happy were her very first clients!

Tonight I've got bootcamp, and I'm signing up for bridal bootcamp too. Saturday is dress shopping, and Sunday I'm just trying to keep straight. At lunch I have a dog date with Lauren and Boo at the dog park. Right after that it's to the studio to choreograph Jessica's wedding party dance...yay! Hopefully it's another choreography job to put under my belt...either way it should be really fun. After that, I have my regular dance scheduled. It's finally starting back up and it sounds like all the girls are excited to get going again. And then after that (yeesh) we're doing my Mom's birthday dinner. Which reminds me – I need to get a gift ASAP!

***

I almost forgot! I got my very first query letter acceptance! My deadline is October 8th. Stay tuned...I'm going to be published! (I'm not saying which publication yet because I don't want to jinx myself). On my way to freelance bliss : )

Getting it done.

I haven't told you yet that I love wedding planning.

*sigh*

Perhaps my next career move? I just love everything that comes together to make a wedding – colour palettes, food, dresses, shoes, decor, fabric, crafts...fun! 

Travis and I are meeting our potential photographer tonight. Cross our fingers that we "connect," as they always say should happen! So far our venue is booked, ceremony site confirmed, and rental place picked. I'm waiting to hear on catering from the hall. The next important step is booking our officiant. Oh yah...and getting the dress! I've got Saturday the 13th slated for three bridal stops with Mom, Tara and Nat. I can't wait!

What do we think of this contender? :)

Sketch-town

Ahhh...

Meeting is done, that mega dance grant is off my desk, and I'm finally back to this blog. It's been a little crazy since I got home from Kelowna late Saturday night. (dance choreography, cutting holes in our walls for renos...more on that later..., wedding planning, etc.)

K-town was great, as it always is. Gen's fab parents let us stay at their house again, and we mostly lounged around, ate a lot (hello nachos!!), shopped, wandered around downtown, jumped on the trampoline (I miss it so much!) and went out for drinks. I may have found my wedding dress too! I'll know as soon as I do a whole shopping day with Mom, Nat and Tara on the 13th. Then I'll make my decision.

Most of the trip was uneventful, at least until the very last night. It sure made up for it! It all started at Gotcha's, where a girl dropped her cell phone in the bathroom. I found it after she left, and Natalie said she knew which girl had it. She also said this girl was easy to pick out because she was obviously on something. And oh my, was she ever! She was so drugged up she couldn't speak and could barely walk. We asked her if she had dropped her phone, holding it up to her face, and she choked on her words, growled strangely, and then ran off. So we had a nice, new blackberry. I think it eventually ended up in the hands of a bouncer (I hope).

A few minutes after that, someone told me Sean Kingston was there, and sure enough, I spotted him standing by the bar. I went to find Gen so we could talk to him, but by the time I found her he was gone. Damn.

After that, us three decided we needed a drink, when a guy tried to grab Natalie. I shook my head no when she said "please don't." As I continued walking, he tried to grab me, and Natalie repeated (and she was still polite about it) "we said don't." And with that, he exploded. Screaming at us the worst of all swears and names, shaking his hand at us, arm above his head to hit us. His buddies all started yelling at us too, absolutely spastic and angry. I was completely baffled...were they yelling at someone else? It couldn't possibly be us because we did nothing wrong! It was us though, and they continued to freak out. All five of them were right up in our face, until a bus boy ran into Natalie, and she told him we needed help. Two seconds later, about six bouncers hauled them all out. They fought, and were still yelling names at us. One coward shut up and turned his back, so he didn't get thrown out. We were afraid they'd be waiting outside for us since it was close to closing time, but thankfully, we didn't see them the rest of the night. I've never, ever had someone speak to me that way. EVER. I was so angry. At least we took the high road out.

And the night only continued to get crazier...

Once outside, we struggled to find a cab. In the meantime we grabbed some pizza and warded off several creepy dudes (one who insisted his buddy got a $250 speeding ticket simply from TALKING about speeding). We were waiting on the street, and a few sketchy guys (FUBU jersey's, chains, the whole bit) started asking us to go to their pool party. I felt safe because a cop car was parked on the street right next to us. We politely refused, but they were persistent, and as they continued to ask, a second car came whipping up with its sirens on. All the cops jumped out from both cars and shouted "you're under arrest!" They threw the guys we were talking to onto the cars, searched them and shoved them into the back. It was crazy! I'm still wondering what those guys did...they seemed to know exactly why they were being arrested.

After that, a couple of somewhat normal guys chatted with us as we were waiting. Soon enough, one of the FUBU guys (who must've managed to hide while the cops were there) came up and started bugging us again. Long story short (and it was quite amusing), he had his shirt off and was ready to fight. Natalie called the police and was on the phone for 20 minutes. FINALLY, we saw a cabbie, waved him down, and got the heck out of there!

And that's my story of sketch-town.

Back from k-town.

Work is busy, wedding planning is in full-force, and vacation is over! That's okay though because I like to be busy. I'll fill you in on adventures of K-town as soon as work stuff dies down a little. All I can say it was a relaxing trip with a few twists!

Until then...

One summer afternoon.

I return from the weekend...

ENGAGED!

It was perfect. Fabulous. And unexpected! I mean, I knew it was coming at some point this year. Even Christy at work predicted it the day before...but I was like "Nah, it's not gonna happen this weekend." I just wasn't feeling it, but apparently I was very wrong.

On Friday, Trav called me in the afternoon and told me that Brown wanted to cover his shift on Saturday (Trav was covering for Simpson.) So I said, sounds good (how awesome is an unexpected day off!?), what do you want to do for the day? Trav suggested going out to my parents to borrow the Chino and drive down to the river, but I really didn't feel like going back out there...and they weren't home so I negated the idea. Trav sounded really disappointed about that and now I know why! He was just trying to plan something romantic, where'd we be alone. But anyways, I suggested a plan B (initially suggested by Christy), which was to check out the Farmers' Market in Strathcona and then take the High Level trolley across the bridge and hang out at the Ledge Grounds.

The day was gorgeous. Sunny, warm, with a bit of a breeze. We walked up to the trolley, saw that one was to arrive in five minutes, and Trav said we might as well go now. I agreed and off we went! It was fun – I had no idea that Edmonton had the highest trolley. It put me on edge a little, being that high. Trav said his stomach was turning from the granola bar he had that morning (I think that really, he was nervous even though he insisted he wasn't!) The trolley is an old car from Australia, circa the 40s, refurbished. I just love antique things!

We arrived at the Ledge Grounds, which were oddly quiet that day. We walked past a couple of wedding parties taking pictures, and then went past a few fountains. I was leading the way when I heard Travis very seriously say my name (Ariana instead of Air!), and I turned, and there he was, on one knee! I hadn't suspected a thing, even with the bulky ring box stuffed into the cargo pocket of his shorts. (I hadn't noticed.)

I was so surprised and overwhelmed, but finally mustered "of course!" Trav says he was surprised I didn't cry...c'mon! I'm not really an emotion girl...my girlfriends can attest to that. Anyway, it was such a beautiful afternoon...I will always remember it. We headed to the market after, shared some hotdogs and just strolled around in the sunshine. It was a strange, fluttery feeling to walk around there and have a little secret that we soon would share with everyone. But for those couple of hours, it was just our moment. And that's one of the coolest feelings in the world.

Friday Afternoon Lull.

I didn't watch SYTYCD last night...I just googled the winner this morning (so unlike me!)

Josh won. And I'm very cool with that. I know in my last post I ranted about him, but it really was a rant about Nigel. I can totally relate to Josh in the sense that I feel like I've missed out on a lot of training and that my technique – especially in ballet – lacks. So it was great to see him come out on top. And he's such a little explosive ball of vibrating energy! But Katee...what happened? Yes, she got 50 grand, but I still think she should've been number one.

So last night I went and checked out Nat's new place...so cute! Nice and spacious, with a beautiful green yard with mature trees. It's an older building, but well taken care of, quiet, and has a cool kind of quaintness to it. She's also allowed to paint it or renovate it however she wants...which is such a great opportunity! Granted, those types of things cost and add up quickly, but I've got some leftover paint that could give the place a new look in a jiffy. If I lived there I'd be all over that! I suppose though I have enough to do with my own house judging by the 'home and garden' portion of my list. Possibly a little too ambitious? We'll see.

 The best part of our visit is when we went into the building and opened up "her" door...it was someone else's suite! (The three buildings are identical.) The young guy looked absolutely petrified, probably thinking someone was busting to kill him! It was truly priceless. I couldn't stop laughing.

Travis ended up getting tomorrow off unexpectedly. Hooray! We've planned a day date...which is quite unlike us! We plan to explore Whyte Ave, hit up the farmers' market, and then trolley to the Ledge grounds and have a mini-picnic with some hopefully delicious fruit we snag at the market. We've haven't done anything like this before, so I'll let you know if we actually go through with this perfect-sounding date!

All Things Dance.

Last night I burned home from boxing bootcamp and missed out on my usual catch-up sesh with Tara to make sure I caught So You Think You Can Dance. Although I missed the first 15 minutes, I think I got the gist of it. And to be honest, I was a little disappointed. I was looking forward to some unreal numbers. 

Of course I realize how exhausted they must be; I cannot fathom learning an upwards of five or six (add to that tremendously difficult) routines a week! Overall, I love the show, but some things this season have got on my nerves. For one, Nigel's long spiel last night about how Joshua has set the bar for dancers with no training irked me a little. He's had training!! It may not be as intense as the others, but there's many photographs of him taking classes and practicing and proof in the way he moves. There's a big difference between that and truly no training. Courtney...she's average. I feel like I could dance next to her and measure up. She should've left awhile ago. I think Chelsie Hightower should be in her place. That girl has so much spunk and her personality just absolutely radiates. Twitch...eh. He's decent. He's cute. But annoying! When taking the advice from the judges last night, he was making my skin crawl! Especially when he did his whole James Bond imitation...ick. So all in all? I think the title has got to go to Katee. Her technique, consistency, ability to dance almost any style or difficulty, and strength just blow me away.

My Dance Challenge

There's nothing like SYTYCD to get me in the dancing mood. Choreography season is quickly approaching. In fact, I need to start this week on Jenna's lyrical solo. We picked "I'm Scared" by Duffy, which I'm very excited about. I'm glad I get to dabble in lyrical again. It definitely doesn't come as easy to me as jazz, but it's a style I adore. I'll be really getting into it this weekend...wish me lots of creativity!

As well, I hope to start my own lyrical solo. After all, it's one of my goals. I still have the same vision with the pillow and the Kelly Clarkson a capella song. I hope I can transfer it to the stage in the way I'm picturing it in my mind.

Paperwork

And lastly, the crappy part of this dance business. Grants. It's amazing we have opportunities to apply for so much money...but it is a lot of work, especially when I get very little help. I hope the work pays off and I get launch Bon Bon and get "Melt" to become an amazing show brought to stage next year!

Chino Time.

I'll say it off the top – I didn't paint the dresser or fan. And that's okay! Travis and I did put up the kitchen shelves though late last night, which knocks my goals down to 100! They look great; now I just have to fill them up with pretty dishes and things...lol.

The weekend was relaxing. Truly. The parentals are always fabulous hosts, and Mom's such a whiz in the kitchen. It was such a nice surprise that Lizzie and Justin and the crew of kids visited too! I hadn't seen them since Nanna's funeral...which I means I've only ever met Halle! Tyler was such a bubbly little guy, and Liam...well a two-year old cutie (his birthday was Sat, which Lizzie forgot...lol) but with a bit of temper. He told off Trav a couple of times when Trav changed the channel away from 4 Squares (so is that what kids are watching now? What a terrible cartoon!)

Sunday brought on our 4x4ing adventure. The rhino and chinos are a pretty good time...though the chino Trav and I rode got a little plugged with mud after the whole crazy trip back, so Dad and Ryan had to come back and rescue us. We were gone five hours in total I think. I was a little freaked out by the narrow trails (Trav would probably argue a lot freaked out), but glad we got to go. I think Dad likes to see us playing with his new expensive toys. Put 'em to good use!

PS – the pic is obviously before the muddy adventure.

Shifting into neutral.

Whew. It's Friday! Of a long weekend! Yah!

Haha. The only problem is I have no plans tonight or tomorrow night. Trav is on nights covering for Simpson (and I already haven't seen him in days), Tara's gone back to DV to see her lover, and everyone else I know is headed off to Big Valley. That's all right though. It might be a perfect chance for me to catch up on a few things around the house...paint the dresser, which I've been meaning to do for months. Paint the fan. Plan out the next reno step. And maybe I can throw in a bit of movie-watching, magazine-reading and scrapbooking!

On Sunday Trav and I are planning to head back to my parents' place for two days. Hopefully it's nice enough to make a trek down to the river in the rhino. I haven't got to yet this summer, and it's already August! How does summer disappear so quickly?

I'm a little sleepy today...stayed up late every night this week...not sure why! Last night I caught SYTYCD. Although stupid telus kept cutting out; we seem to have a unfixable problem on our hands. So I missed the opening number. I was hoping that Courtney and Twitch would go instead. I love Mark's musicality and out-there style, and Chelsie is just too cute! And much more dynamic than Courtney.

Good thing I'm jetting early today for my hair appointment...I don't think I can hang on till five. Not sure what I'm doing with the mop, but I'm sure it will sort it self out. It usually does.

PS - my car is STILL not ready. Yeesh.

It comes down to two.

I'm at 99 goals...what should the last two be? I'm going to let them come naturally to me and try not to force it. Maybe it'll come to me in a dream, in the shower, before I fall asleep? Let's see what happens – although it better happen in the next couple of days because I need to get started on this list!

Today's topic? Confidence. Lame, I know. But the thing is, I catch myself thinking I'm inferior far too often. I compare myself – my looks, my smarts, my athletic ability, my conversations with others – whenever I get the chance. And it must stop! It's been happening since junior high. I spend too much time worrying, feeling pangs of jealousy, instead of actually enjoying the moment. And that's probably the least attractive thing about me. Isn't that the ironic part? So here it is. My chance to REALLY try and stop that nonsense. Do I have a game plan? No. I'm just going to kick those bad thoughts away when they come, and fill their spot with a compliment instead. It's doable. I deserve it.

Looks like I've got goal number 100.

Copycat...for a good cause.

A friend of mine stumbled upon this "101 things 1001 days." And since I think it's such a great idea, I'm going borrow it and post it right here! After all, they do say that people who set measurable goals are overall more happy and successful than those who don't, right? Here's the rundown:

The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past — frequently simple goals such as new year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

And so my list begins... (I will update until complete)

Home & Garden

1. plant flowers in our yard
   
2. jackhammer the backyard cement pad, haul it away and replace it with grass
   
3. weather-proof our windows
   
4. put up shelves in our kitchen
   
5. rock the entire fireplace
   
6. redo our entryway with a new window seat and shelves/hooks
   
7. get rid of the nasty outdoor tile around our front door
   
8. finish the main bathroom
   
9. redo the second bathroom
   
10. put in new countertop and replace backsplash in kitchen
    
11. repaint and repair our front porch
12. cook dinner from scratch twice a week for a full week (no repeating recipes!)
13. wash our windows...inside and out
14. paint the back entrance and stairway
15. jazz up my laundry room (repaint, refloor and hang a pretty curtain)
16. finish all my mending
17. sort/figure out what to do with my ever-expanding collection of magazines
18. use my crockpot at least once a month for six months

Health & Fitness

1. do a proper chin up
   
2. weigh 114 lbs
   
3. do a full, flat center split
   
4. run the Glenora stairs five times in a row without a break
5. learn to dive
   
6. go horseback riding
7. golf 18 holes
8. eat at least five servings of fruit/vegetables per day for one week
9. do bikram yoga at least once a week for 12 weeks
10. go fast food free for three months

Dance

1. get back into pointe shoes
   
2. perform an amazing lyrical solo at competition
   
3. go to a dance audition
   
4. choreograph on a freelance basis for competitions
   
5. complete and showcase a full dance work
   
6. finish a major dance grant application and send it off
7. launch Bon Bon Dance Co.
8. sign up for Latin ballroom...and be good at it
9. nail a triple left pirouette – every time
10. dance with a partner and fill the routine with lifts

Personal

1. get a decent camera and pursue photography
   
2. clean out my wardrobe of all the clothes and shoes I honestly won't wear again
3. get laser eye surgery
   
4. get a bra fitting and learn my actual size
5. get my wisdom teeth out
6. start a sketch book again
7. take a drawing class
8. blow one month's wages on shoes (Manolos?)
9. wear different earrings and shoes every day for a week
10. get a facial
11. renew my passport
12. go an entire day eating whatever I want and not feel guilty for it

Writing/Work

1. get published in a magazine
   
2. write a book (not published)
   
3. get a client with my new partnership
   
4. put together my advertising book
5. speak up in a meeting and feel powerful and confident in doing so
6. actually read through my Doctor Dictionary words and memorize ten of them
7. buy and read the books Marlene recommended to me

Adventure

1. visit New York City
   
2. visit an exotic beach
   
3. go on a trip by myself
   
4. eat dinner at a nice restaurant alone
   
5. stand under a waterfall
   
6. skinny dip
   
7. sing karaoke
8. plan a trip to Europe (book actual dates!)
9. hike a mountain
10. sleep under the stars
11. ski a double black diamond
12. get my fortune told

Financial

1. contribute a minimum of $100 a month into a RRSP
   
2. increase my student loan payments by $50 each monthly
   
3. make an additional payment on our mortgage
   
4. make a decent side salary buy freelancing
5. sell something (clothes?!) on ebay
6. sit with Trav, create a household budget and stick to it

Exploration

1. go to five new restaurants
   
2. go to the museum
   
3. spend a full day on Whyte Avenue exploring
   
4. spend an afternoon at the Ledge grounds
5. go on a road trip to somewhere I've never been
6. try sushi
7. spend an afternoon antiquing, visiting farmers' markets and garage sales
8. hang out at a park (bonus points if its a splash park!) for an afternoon

Friendships & Family

1. meet up with a childhood friend
   
2. write a handwritten letter to Travis
   
3. take a getaway with only my family
4. have a scrapbooking night with Tara once a month for at least six months
5. send flowers to a friend just because
6. host a proper, bonafide dinner party (complete with a signature cocktail!) for all my friends

Karma

1. send off a message in a bottle
   
2. plant a tree
   
3. smile at 10 strangers
   
4. tip a server 100%

Smarts

1. get a library card and use it
   
2. go to the ballet again
   
3. read Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
   
4. read Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
   
5. read Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
   
6. read Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
   
7. maintain my blog for a year, and at the one year mark go back and read my first entry
   
8. go two weeks without saying "I can't"

PS

My feet survived the red shoes! But my shoes look a little rough – scrapes, scratches. Definitely don't look new anymore! They tell the story of the night...

Hmmm...

Well, the weekend flew by. It was somewhat disappointing. I mean, it was good to go back, but it's hard when you don't see these people all the time, so naturally I felt a little like an outsider. That, combined with allergy meds and too much vodka, and I think I embarrassed myself at the end of the night. I ripped my dress up to my butt, fell on the dance floor TWICE (in my favor, drinks were spilled everywhere), and I think yelled at Trav in front of some people. My god. For some reason I went past my limit...not going to do that for awhile! I mean, mostly everyone was drunk too, so I hope I didn't make a complete fool of myself...but still. Possibly the only person drunker than me was Travis...lol. Quite the pair we are. Needless to say we were slow movers the next day and really accomplished nothing. Too bad because it was absolutely gorgeous outside (not that I could go outside anyways...Trav's Dad was haying..achoo!)

Well, I'm going to move past my stupidness and try to stop thinking about it. We've all been there, right? Other than that silly stuff, the wedding was a blast. I talked to Candice quite a bit, met some new people, talked to the bride! (It always seems that at weddings I never get the chance to talk to the couple!) I'm not sure when we'll be back in DV next.

The other reason the weekend was a bit of a downer was my allergies. Jeez! My eye pretty much swelled shut. That reminds me...I need to make a doc appointment stat! It's time to get on some serious meds because I can't stand this any longer. Plus I need to be in good shape for my vacay!

Moving on...spin tonight! Not sure how I'm feeling about that, but I think it'll be great for my body AND mind to sweat it all out.

SoLo!!

So I think I'm going to do a lyrical solo this year. It's about time I revisit that genre...I feel so much stronger technically and I think I'm ready to give it another go. I've got an idea I'm feeling pretty good about – it involves a pillow and acapella. I better get started before I forget...

Almost the weekend!! I've got mostly everything packed and ready to go. Just gotta throw it in the car and I should be on my way...depending on whether or not I need to pack up Saku too. We've got the BBQ with the parentals tonight, and then the pre-wedding party after. Hopefully river Saturday if it's nice enough, dinner at Caesar's, and then the wedding at six (I haven't been to an evening ceremony...I'm interested to see how it all goes). Looking forward to it all. I cancelled dance too – so the weekend should feel longer (hopefully!!)

I am aching to travel somewhere exotic...

Red – Pianos and Shoes

I have a shopping addiction.

I bought bright, shiny, cherry red shoes from Aldo at lunch today, for the wedding this weekend. But in my defense, it was necessary as my old trusty red pumps are about to snap a heel. So a purchase with a reason makes it ok...lol. They're very high...I wonder how long I'll be able to stand them!

And speaking of red...busy working on a project called Red Piano at work. It's definitely keeping me preoccupied as we need another killer idea. One down, still waiting for the other to magically pop in my head!

Did Bikram again last night. Got Natalie and Kaitlyn to come too. It was a tough one this time! Harder than my second time for some strange reason. It could have been a combination of things – the instructor wasn't as soothing, she more or less barked at us the entire time. And I ate soup right before...better not do that again! It was still great though; I felt totally rejuvenated after.

Tara and I arranged a scrapbooking night at her place tonight – yay. It was last minute, but I'm looking forward to it. Gotta love our granny nights where we get to stay in. : ) I think I'll wear my pjs.

Off to a 1:30 meeting, ciao!

Another weekend, another Monday.

Well, here we go again! I'm already looking forward to the weekend. Memo to self: enjoy the present! I was skimming a magazine article yesterday – I can't remember in what though – that talked about how as people, we feel that before we allow ourselves any fun we need to get a long list of work done. We don't enjoy the moment but only give ourselves a pat on the back if we feel we've worked hard enough! How true that is...for me at least. I'm going to try for at least a little bit each this week to be thankful for the RIGHT NOW...whatever I may be doing. Even if it's work, because I like my work : )

I plan to get my query letter off today. I'm going to think positively, and hopefully come up with some more ideas for other queries too!

How about weekend reflection time? It was decent. Friday night dinner with a few friends, which was nice. Although we almost got hit by a car on the way there! It was storming and the lights went out at 99th and Whyte. Of course everyone drives like maniacs and instead of treating the intersection like a four-way stop, people decided to whiz through. After three cars shot by, we slowly creeped out, and sure enough this shitty white car came barrelling through. He finally hit his breaks and Trav lost it on him. They just laughed. How frustrating is that?

Saturday I started my day out with a massage, which would've been great if I wasn't allergy city. Ugh. I couldn't breathe, then my nose started running all over the place. She kept having to pass me a kleenex...I felt like a dork! The massage made me feel quite light-headed, a little nauseated even. Strange. Then off to shopping! Which was awesome. God I love shopping. Mom spoiled me and I spoiled myself a bit! There's sales everywhere and the cutest clothes everywhere too. Yikes. Now I'm thinking I need a pair of red pumps. My old ones are just too worn out...right? Yep, definitely need new ones.

Sunday was a blah day. I tried to stay motivated but only four of us showed up to dance. Didn't do anything unfortunately. I want to start choreographing but I just wasn't feeling it. I want the girls to get pumped up too, because I think it's exciting, but no seems to feel the same way I do. Oh well, I'm going to continue to be persistent and push through. I have a feeling that's the right thing to do and that it will pay off.

I want to choreograph for some competitions, for a studio or something. Anyone know of anyone? lol. Maybe I can brand myself as pure choreography. Ah, I'd love that. I wouldn't mind going out to DV and doing some solos and duos. The girls are getting pretty advanced. We'll see if I can make that connection...

Well I should get back to it. Gotta get that letter out too.

Sneeze Machine

Wednesday is bringing more sneezes...and a whole box of kleenex. Ugh.

But onto better things! I'm doing my second class of bikram (hot) yoga tonight. Yay! It was tough my first time last night, but wow – I felt amazing after. So lucid, tired, cleansed...never felt quite like that. Hopefully I can make it through round two. And hey, it seemed to temporarily clear my sinuses...

I was just watching some youtube videos...mostly dance. Wow. SYTYCD is great this year. There's some awesome girls and great choreographers. (How breathtaking was 'Bleeding Love' by Chelsea and Mark?) And Paula Van Oppen...I admire that girl. I wished I could've done so much more at a younger age. Oh well though, I've got the opportunity now, right? It's always a good thing to get some inspiration every once and awhile from others to remind me to get choreographing our show! I've got practice this Sunday, so I hope to get something going before than. Although I usually do it on the spot if it just doesn't come to me before hand...we shall see. This is going to require definite planning with sets and such, which I'm not overly experienced with. At least we're close to a finalized song list.

Had a long brainstorming session today at work. Boy, I wasn't too creative this morning. I didn't feel focused...or like I really even cared. Blame it on allergies, right? I'll make tomorrow better.

Mondays Mean...

Well, the blahs. But it's always the day I think the most. Really think I mean. About the things I want to accomplish...right now, tomorrow, five years from now. I'm all over the post-it notes, scribbling to do lists all over my desk, which for a short time makes me feel like I've accomplished something (even though I've just added more to the pile!).

But right now, I'm thinking more long-term. Like the top five things I really need to do in my life...the big ones. This changes all the time for me, although I've given it much more thought lately. (Maybe my sister's gusto inspired me? The travels of my friends? The things I read?) I'm not sure why. I think it began when I quit my dance aerobics instructing job, which I did on the side two nights a week. With everything else, it kept be busy. And it left me no time for me. I felt guilty quitting, especially because I get a certain satisfaction from having a packed schedule. But I decided this is it. I listened to my gut I think. I try to anyways...I'm not sure if I've succeeded yet...but that's a whole other topic.

Anyways, after that, I've freed up some time. Which probably won't last for long with all my constant planning, but it's a start, right? And there's some major things I want to think about and do before time passes me by. For one, traveling. I know everyone says that, but the more I see people I know take off to amazing parts of the world, I wish I could too. I have a lot of commitments here...but then again, do I? I go back and forth. Of course I do, but if I truly wanted, I could travel, couldn't I? Of course $$ is an issue, but if I want to make it happen, I suppose I can. Where? Europe of course...but down the road. New York naturally. But where I feel most a peace and most alive at the same time? Beaches. I MUST visit the top ten beaches of the world. I'm not much of a swimmer or water person, but I feel most like myself by water. It's strange. I dream about them. I CRAVE it. Does being a pisces have anything to do with it? The point is there's so much to see in this world, and what I have seen? Not even a sliver. ; )

I've also started thinking about writing. Sure, I've got the day job. But I'd love to write magazine articles. Get going on some freelance. I need to start pitching. I know a small paper in town is looking for trend lifestyle pieces for females. Perfect. I'm just stuck on what to write about! Of course I have a long list of ideas, but nothing has really gelled with me...nothing has got me writing a query letter yet! And I must do it soon! I do have my trusty folder of query writing tips though, so that's one of my near future goals. Perhaps I should start setting deadlines? I hate deadlines.

That leads me to the ultimate – writing a book. I was always the type to say ugh, I write short copy only. But I've been changing my mind lately. I feel like I need to get a long story out of me, I just don't know what it is yet.

I've been trying to exercise more by doing the group class thing. I want to dabble in different things, find what I like other than dance. Bootcamp has been brutal and great at the same time. I'm pledged to try bikram yoga tomorrow. We'll see!

I've got other random thoughts floating around, and I can never seem to write as fast as the speed that they pop into my head...so I'm going to make a list of these things. Hopefully they'll help me for future reference!

-house stuff...making a beautiful front entry (inside and out!), rocking the fireplace and adding a mantle. The kitchen! Needs some work. And jackhammering away that ugly cement pad and replacing it with grass...that levels away from the foundation of our house! We need sod for where the old sidewalk was, we need a BBQ. I need to weatherproof the windows before winter. Sigh. The category of "house stuff" really can be neverending. But all in all, I enjoy to see it all slowly coming together.

-friends...I don't feel I've made enough time to hang out with the people I love, whereas I've wasted a lot of time on people I don't care for. I'm going to change that ASAP. It's in my control. It'll save me energy and give me more.

-photography...a few of my friends have experimented in it, and it had always piqued my interest but enough for me to really do any checking into. Maybe soon is the time. Since I was nine or ten years old, I've played with whatever crappy camera I have and attempted to take something really beautiful. Next present? A spiffy camera? Maybe.

-BonBon!! My dance group! I REALLY want to get this going. It's been in the back of my head, a lot of planning...and it's time to make it reality. We need money. I'm going to bring grant info to the girl this week. How amazing would that be, to be awarded a big spanking grant?! I want to be known for our dancing, especially my choreography. I love it. It's not perfect but I know there's something there. When I hear a song that needs to be a dance I ache. I don't know how else to describe it.

-I love fashion sketching. Why did I ever stop? I had my trusty binder for years (nine years old I started it?), with around 50 drawings I think, all on looseleaf paper. I wish I could find that. It makes me think of Nana. I loved her drawing style. I miss it. Outfits pop into my head. Sometimes I wish I could create them. I wish I could at least dress like that...but maybe I just don't have the confidence yet to pull that off.

Well I'm tired of writing. It's funny I've chosen this as my career because it can make me tired and doesn't always come effortlessly. And remember, this is my 'for fun' writing, so I've pledged to not spend time editing it, cutting away words...perfecting it. I want to leave it all as it orginally spilled out over the keyboard.

But it's good. I like words. And I think they're starting to like me.